I'm Satisfied

Hey yall,
Caitlin here: So this particular post is of a comical nature. I was introduced to this song a few years back and loved it. I think we all can relate to it. It is to the tune of "I will survive" the song is I'm satisfied and it is by Chonda Pierce. I hope you appreciate the lyrics:

I’m Satisfied 

Chonda Pierce 

At first I was afraid I was mortified 

Kept thinking I would get a treadmill when I turned 45 

But then I spent so many nights eating all those krispy kremes

And I could see, I’d never fit in my blue jeans 

And so im back 

On norditrack   

I just walk miles and I get nowhere  

Trying to burn up all this fat 

I should have changed to pepsi free, cottage cheese, or celery 

If I had known for just one second there’d be so much more of me 

I go and go 

I walk out the door 

I just turn around now  

And there’s the weight I was before  

Who said that being fit would somehow set me free? 

Cmon and shout it THIS WORLD COULD USE SOME MORE OF ME 

Chorus

Oh no not I, I’m satisfied 

I don’t care if I will never be a size 2 in my life 

I’ve got all my life to live  and ive got all this love to give 

I’m satisfied, I’m satisfied, hey hey 

I count all those silly rice cakes that won’t pass through my lips 

I just want chocolate covered donuts hanging on my hips  

Cause I spent oh so many nights just trying to starve myself 

I use to cry, but now I always supersize 

And you can see, there’s more of me 

I’m not that scrawny little girl that I used to be  

Fried foods and double chins are still a girls best friend 

Keep those models on the run way, cause im a perfect 10  

Repeat chorus 

Never forget that no matter what size you may be you are worth so much! Don't get down on yourself during your journey to a healthier life style, choose to be satisfied! 

Why I've Been Silent

Hey Yall,
Caitlin here: I know I have not written in a while, but that has been for good reason....I haven't had anything to write about. These past few weeks have been a struggle. The only form of exercise I get is when I go for a walk/jog outside during the day. I have had a couple different things keep me from being able to do this. 1) Bad weather- we got 6" of snow about two weeks ago. This caused downed trees and power lines and it took a long time for the city to get it cleared up, making jogging unsafe, 2) My clients- usually they go to day programs and I get time off during the day. The past month I have had one or both clients home all day for 3-4 days in a row, meaning no time off for me. Needless to say, on the days that I did not have them home I chose to nap and relax. I would love to say that I am blogging now because I am back on the wagon, but that just isn't true and probably won't be for another few weeks. However, I have done two positive things in the meantime. First, I bought a new pair of running shoes. This way when I start running again I have a good pair of shoes to use. Second, I have not gained any weight. I may not be losing any, but the fact that I haven't exercised in three weeks, and haven't been eating as healthy as I have in the past yet I am still maintaining my weight, makes me happy. I still have a few more weeks where my clients will be home more than usual, meaning I end up working at least 60 hour weeks. Who wants to exercise after working a 60 hour work week??? Certainly not this girl. However I do promise to do start C25K again once things at work have calmed down.  How have things been going with you???

Dreadful Jogging

Hey it's Ashley.  Last week Caitlin and I both hit a wall in the jogging world.  I got sick and there was no way I was going to jog, but luckily I did make it to the gym a few times and became better friends with the elliptical.    Last week was pretty discouraging, and I thought to myself "I am just under 290 lbs and there is no way I can run 90 seconds!"  90 seconds intervals is suppose to be week 2 of the C25K.  So when I got sick I secretly thought "thank you Jesus I can put off the running".  Isn't that awful?  This week when Monday came around I knew I had to start running again.  After running for a minute, I realized that when you are training your body for anything, that when you take a week off it will set you backwards.  I was proud of myself for running and not giving up.  Today came along and I knew I had to push myself.  Instead of running the 90 seconds, I increased the amount of intervals.  I went from jogging 8 laps of 60 seconds each to 10 laps.  I figure that if I gradually increase this every week, that I will be training my body for the endurance of running a longer time as I am loosing weight.  Lets face it I am not exactly fit and the standard body fit of a person that starts the C25K program.  But let me tell you, if I have to start my running career by tweaking the program to running more laps then running time then I will do that, and sometime in 2011 I will be able to cross off my New Years Resolution of running a 5k.  Don't give up on your fitness goals for this year, but tweak what will make it right for you to keep going instead of wanting to give up. I guarantee it will get you to be more successful this year.

Eating what you want...well, sorta...

Hey Yall,
Caitlin here- Some of you may or may not know that I am currently following the new weightwatchers program. At first I wasn't a fan of it and found myself constantly hungry. That was until I learned what worked for me. I would have 10 pointsplus meals, and only get 3 meals a day. This did not work and I found I was always hungry. Thus, I tweaked it. Instead of having a 10 pointsplus meal I would have a 3-4 pointsplus breakfast and then a 7-8 pointsplus lunch, and then a 4-10 pointsplus dinner. This left me with anywhere between 7- 15 pointsplus leftover for the day, which meant I could have some small snacks in between.  This also means that I get to have a small ice cream cone every night and still lose weight. Let me tell you, tweaking my diet has made all the difference. I have also found how to make my pointsplus work in my favor. For example (i know yall probably don't care what I eat, but bear with me, it has a point) yesterday I had scrambled egg whites, 3 turkey bacon, fruit, and a yogurt for breakfast, for lunch I had a hamburger with an order of fries, and for dinner I had roasted chicken, green beans, broccoli salad, fruit, and for dessert I had an ice cream cone- and never once did I go over my pointsplus for the day. Then today I had a big breakfast- 2 big chocolate chip pancakes (like from a restaurant- so I mean BIG), 3 real bacon (turkey bacon will never quite compare), and half an order of home fries, I then had a tall java chip frappe from Starbucks with an extra pump of mocha, and for dinner I had 3 oz of roasted chicken, 2 oz of cajun fish, broccoli salad, corn, and fruit, and for dessert- an ice cream cone. Again, I did not go over my pointsplus allotment. How could I eat all that and still not go over points? Easy- learn to use your pointsplus or calorie allotment wisely. You just learn to delegate them wisely. On Friday I chose to have a lower point meal- it came out to 5 pointsplus. I then used some of my bonus points for my lunch, and it came out to 30 pointsplus. Yes, that is a huge amount, but I had the pointplus available, so I used them and have no need to feel guilty for it- I call it a win! I then had a dinner that came out to 5 pointsplus and an ice cream cone that came out to 4, totaling 45 pointsplus for the day.

With the new weightwatchers system I get 29 daily pointsplus and 49 weekly bonus pointsplus to use at will. My plan of attack is to be on target Mon-Thur. During those days I stay right at the 29 mark. This gives me all of my bonus points to use on the weekend. I have weekends off so I usually like to go out to eat, thus I really try to save my bonus pointsplus for the weekend. I then split up the bonus pointsplus between the three days and I  usually split them  evenly. Which means 16 extra points two days of the week and 17 the other day. I then get to add that to my daily allotment of 29 pointspplus so I get 45 or 46 pointsplus each day over the weekend. A lot can be done with 46 points. What this means is that I still get to enjoy the foods I love without feeling deprived that I am not getting them and without feeling guilty that I am eating them. Another way I help is to still eat healthy on the weekends. Yes, I may have one meal where I choose an unhealthy item (hamburger/fries/ big breakfast, etc) but I make up for it by having chicken for dinner with veggies and fruit. This allows me to use my pointsplus for items that I otherwise wouldn't get to eat because they are too high in pointsplus. I also throw in exercise. I usually exercise 3-4 times a week. This gives me extra pointsplus I could use, but I choose to never use them because then I know that I have an extra cushion should I need it.

All of this has been said to leave you with this: do not deprive yourself. You will struggle greatly if you try to live a healthy lifestyle and cut out everything you love to eat. You are setting yourself up for failure. However, if you plan your meals accordingly you can still enjoy what you eat and not feel like you are trapped in some horrible diet. Again, if you throw in some exercise this could also give you a few extra pointsplus or calories you get to have, which can aid you with what you want to eat. Just make sure you don't give yourself too many bonus points/calories. Needless to say,  I got to have a burger and fries yesterday and two absolutely fantastic meals today (I ended up not needing a third because of the big breakfast and starbucks), I still stayed within my pointsplus allotment, and I am feeling anything but deprived and I certainly don't feel guilty. In fact, I am the exact opposite. I am in a rather good mood because I got to enjoy my day and eat food that I love. Can you say the same? If not what are some changes you can make to make your healthy lifestyle work for you?

Lacking Motivation

Hey Yall,
Caitlin here- Confession time: This has been such a rough week for me! I have been pretty spot on with my eating, but exercise has been lacking.  You are suppose to do it 3x per week. The last time I ran was on Saturday. I am not able to run again usually until Tuesday's, but didn't do it on Tuesday. I kept putting off doing C25K until yesterday. Even then I didn't do it properly. Yesterday it was snowy and cold, so I decided that I was not going to go outside. However, I really knew I needed to do C25K, so I did it indoors. I have a big bedroom so I jogged around my bedroom/up the stairs/jogged in place for all of my running time. I could tell it was not pushing me as hard as when I run outside. That being said, at least I still did it. Then today happened. I decided that I was not going to give myself any more excuses and I was gonna man up and just do it, and do it right. Well, that mostly happened. I must admit, on two different running cycles I stopped with about 10 more seconds left to go. However, I am still proud of the fact that I went out and did it when I would much rather have just been cozy in my bed napping. I have come to the conclusion that having an online accountability partner slightly works, but having someone here in person would be a lot better. I am a lot more motivated when I know someone is on their way over to run with me. All of that being said has led to this statement: Ashley, you just need to move already so we can run together!!!

How is everyone else doing with their physical activity???

A few of my favorite things

Hey Yall,
Caitlin here- the last few posts have been kinda hard hitting and maybe a bit of a downer. This post is hopefully gonna be a bit more upbeat. Here is a list of some of my favorite things in regard to a healthier lifestyle:

10. Going down dress sizes
9. A boost in confidence
8. Feeling good about myself after I have finished a meal because I didn't stuff myself
7. Feeling good about myself after going for a walk/run.
6. Being proud of who I am choosing to become
5. Finding self worth- to know that whether I am chunky or tiny, I am worth knowing and being cared for by friends and family.
4.  Getting to be an encouragement to others through this blog
3. Having the support of others/being held accountable
2. Fruits being free on the weightwatchers program- that thrills me!
1.Growing in my relationship with God by spending time with him during my workouts.

How does your list look???

You never said it would be easy....

Hey Yall,
Caitlin here- I must say, I am not even sure how to begin this post, there are so many ways that I want this to come off and so much I want to accomplish with it. I apologize in advance if it seems a bit scatter brained or if you feel it does not adequately cover the topic, but this is a hard topic to cover. I also apologize that this particular post is so long, but I really feel it all needs to be relayed. That being said, have you ever had those moments where you feel like God can't hear you? Where you are in such a deep valley that you can't seem to find a way out? A valley so deep that not even the light ventures down to where you are? Before I continue I want people to know I am not writing this because I am in a valley, I am writing this for those who are in the valley. I have been there, and it is not a fun place to be. There are many different things that can put us into a valley: the death of a family member, a situation where you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, financial issues, marital issues, the list could go on and on, and then go on some more. I have had my own valleys. My two most recent valleys have involved my job and my car.

On July 8, 2009 I got a call from my job telling me that I had been fired. I was hurt by how it all played out and not sure what I was going to do. Thus began my valley. I began searching for jobs immediately. Within one day I had put in over 40 applications, within a week I had probably put in nearly 80. I figured I would have a job in no time. On top of all of this I had student loans coming due and car problems that kept adding up. The car had one thing after another go wrong and the mechanic couldn't seem to figure out what was wrong with it. About $3000 later everything was fixed, or so I thought, but more on that later.  To make a very long story somewhat short, I started to see a light at the end of my valley in March of 2010, almost a year after I had lost my job. I had found a job near my family in Michigan. The lady seemed very interested in me and had even sent me my schedule. I began packing up my house and told my quiz team of the possibility of me moving. A few days later I got an e-mail saying she had hired someone else. I was devastated and plunged back into my valley. The only difference this time is that  I had a lead on another job, so I was not completely without hope. This job was in Maryland. After researching the company and getting details about the job, I really felt like this was where God wanted me. I truly felt in the bottom of my soul that this was the plan God had for me. I felt so strongly about it that I again began to pack up my house. I was able to arrange a phone interview and thought it had gone really well and they said they wanted to schedule a second interview. This made me very hopeful. When I called to schedule the second interview I found out they had already filled the position and had no other positions available at the moment. On top of this, I was having more car issues, but I was terrified to bring it to the shop because I knew it would be expensive. This plunged me into my darkest valley to date.

I remember going to the local community college for my morning run/walk. I put on Evanescence and began running, and while I ran I just started to cry. I was so lost and confused. To me it almost felt like God was toying with me.  Not only had I not gotten the job that I was sure God wanted me to have, but I had no other prospects or leads on jobs, I had run out of resources on where to look for jobs, and I really felt like I didn't know how to listen to the promptings of the holy spirit. The next week or two were very dark and confusing times. One song that really got me through that time is a song by Tree63 called Blessed Be Your Name. In the song it says "you give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." The song is saying that in the good times and in the bad times it is my choice to worship the Lord. Even though I was singing it through tears I meant with all of my heart that even though it was a bad time I was still going to praise Him. I felt like God had taken away from me the job I was suppose to have, and I didn't understand why, but even still, I was going to praise His name. Finally, July 2010 came around, a full year and week after I had lost my job I got a call back from the company in Maryland. They unexpectedly had an opening and wanted to do a second interview. As all of you can probably figure out, I got the job. I was elated. I finally saw the end of my valley, or mostly at least.

Now I had the stress of moving and having to get my car fixed before I made the 16 hour drive. God worked that all out as well and provided the money for me to move. This in return caused a whole other valley. As soon as I moved here I got attacked by Satan. I felt lonely, I was having problems getting my car registered, I was having problems at work, I couldn't find a church that I liked- everything was just going wrong. Again I looked to the song Blessed Be Your Name, and again, God worked it all out. All of that has been said to bring you up to now. I got a notice in the mail from the maryland vehicle administration saying that I needed to get my car tested for emissions. Needless to say, I was having even more car problems and could not get it tested. I then went to take it to get the oil changed. While there I got a list of parts that needed to be replaced- and all of them were legitimate needs. The total? $3000 and some change. I sat in the waiting room trying to decide what to do and God brought another song to my heart. The song is called "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens. I had not thought of this song in years, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. The lyrics are as follows:

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

CHORUS:
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will walk through the darkness
If You want me to. 

Cause when I cross over Jordan  

I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna shout  

I'm gonna look into your eyes and see 

You never let me down  

so take me on the pathway 

that leads me home to you 

and I will walk through the valley 

if you want me to.  

Yes I will walk through the valley 

If you want me to.  

What a song! I played that song over and over while sitting in that waiting room. I told God that I didn't understand why I kept having so many problems with my car. I love my car, it has been my favorite car yet, and God knows I don't want to get rid of it. God also knows of my desire to go onto the mission field. I do not want to take all of that money to fix a car that will keep breaking when I could use that money to pay off my student loans. Nor do I want to take out a loan for another car. Thus, while sitting in that waiting room I told God that I would sell my car, if he wanted me to. I refused to go back into a valley over my beloved car. I may not want to sell my car, but if that is the path God has for me, then I will take it.  

My favorite line from the song is this: I will remember the suffering your love put you through and I will walk through the darkness if you want me to.  

I know that maybe right now is a valley time for you. Maybe the pathway you are on is broken and you don't know why God has allowed to happen everything that is going on right now. God never promised us it would be easy- but he did promise us that He would never leave us nor forsake us. He also promised us "lo I am with you always"- even in the valley. Just remember, God loves you, and he is in control. He has a plan for you. Although you may not understand it, God does. Remember His love for you. It makes no sense that God would come to this earth and become human for us. Then on top of that he would make the ultimate sacrifice and give himself up for us. God gave up his son so that we could be with him. God has a plan, and it may not make any sense. What I pray for you is that you are will tell God that you are willing to go through the valley, and through the darkness, and even the fire if God wants you to. Remember, fire isn't always a bad thing. It does more than just burn,destroy, and leave things in ruin. It refines- burns out the dross and brings forth the gold. Fire also can reforge that which has been broken. At this moment your trial may seem like a fire that only destroys, but it could be a fire that is refining you into who God wants you to be. It may seem like your valley has no end, but trust me when I say this- it came to pass. You will eventually climb out of that valley. In the mean time seek God and be willing to do what he says. Turn to him as your strength and as your refuge. Read Psalm 27. God shows that even in the valley he is with us. Not only is he with us, but if you keep reading David goes on to say that he is confident he will see the goodness of God. In other words remain faithful, seek God, and you will see an end to your valley and there will be joy on your lips. God has a reason and purpose for everything, even if it does not make sense to us. Just stay on the path God has for you- even if it leads through valleys. I pray that Ginny's song helps you get through your valley as it has helped get me through mine. If you would like to listen to the song here is a link: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMKp4g_ZrGk&feature=related 

With a broken heart for the hurting, 

Caitlin